After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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