I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The air taste purple.
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