I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
