my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
