It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
