I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dicks are not precious.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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