I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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