No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
