pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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