Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
