...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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