I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
