Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
