He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
