I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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