I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
