can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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