And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
