she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize