I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
