So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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