i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
