One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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