is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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