Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
