i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
