I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
