i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
