where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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