I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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