I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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