Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you win again, gameday.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
