Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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