lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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