I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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