only if we run a train.
done.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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