Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
