He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
