That's intense
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
