I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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