I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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