Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
