my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
