also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
