My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
