she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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