We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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