Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
