My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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