i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
