You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
