none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
